Forbidden
by The problems of shipping
Summary: Just a little Emma/Julian oneshot. A fight can lead to a lot of things.. Maybe even forbidden feelings coming out?


**I ship Blackstairs (if that's what they're called) so freaking much. How am I supposed to wait for like more than a year for some Julian/Emma feels. Okay, I already have feels about them, but I just.. *sigh* People don't seem to eager about writing about them so there aren't a lot of fanfictions.. So I wrote one because I have no life.. Or maybe I do, but I haven't found it yet.. I'm going to go for that last one there.:) **

Emma Carstairs looked over at the boy at her side, Julian Blackthorn, her best friend. She thought about the way he had changed since they were kids. Julian had become very attractive over the last few years. Emma had always thought he would be handsome. She just hadn't assumed it would be this handsome.

As he sat beside her on the couch, his ruffled brown hair in need for a haircut. His eyes looking straight forward. His face set in a frown caused by annoyance. His fists clenched by his side.

Julian did not look too happy at the moment and Emma did not feel very happy herself. Though she did wonder if it was because he was annoyed over such an idiotic thing or if it was because that he looked good even when he was he was pissed.

Annoyingly good.

Julian hadn't looked at her, or said anything, or even acknowledging the fact that she was sitting right beside him since they had sat down. Emma knew it was because of the boy she had met on the beach. The same boy who had asked for her number. And _again_ the boy she had talked about on the whole way home.

She didn't see the problem though. They were bestfriends. Nothing more. Why would he care if a guy liked her? He shouldn't anyway.

"What's the problem?" Emma said after a while, breaking the awkward silence.

Julian let out a sight."I just don't find it very interesting listening to you talking about boys all the time." Julian answered.

"And why is that?" Emma looked at him from her side of the couch.

"I just don't like it" Julian said looking like he was trying to seem uninterested, and failing. His eyes betrayed him. They showed an emotion Emma couldn't quite figure out what was, but it was definitely there.

"Jules. We're seventeen, we are going to date people", Emma started. "But I'm always going to be your bestfriend Jules, you know that."

Emma didn't like thinking about dating other people. Sure, she knew when a guy was hot, but she had never had any interest in anyone. It was like she had always belonged to someone else. Of course that was a stupid thought.

"I know", was all he said. He did not seem very happy about it though.

"Are you going to go out with him?" Julian said after a while.

"Maybe, I guess. I don't know Jules. He seems like a nice guy." Emma answered honestly.

"Do you like him?" There was a hint of jealousy in his voice. Why would he be jealous?

"I.. I don't know." Emma thought he was cute, sure, but she knew it wouldn't last. She just knew it wasn't right. It never seemed to be righttt with anyone.

"That seems to be your answer to a lot of things these days." He was joking, but it didn't seem like he found it every funny.

"Why are you getting so emotional over this?"

That seemed to get a reaction out of him. He stood up from the couch in one swift motion and started walking around in what seemed to be a circle.

"You don't get it, Emma. You just don't get it." Julian's voice was begging. Emma didn't know what it was begging for, but she wanted so badly to give it to him. She stood up from the couch and took a step closer to him, only to make him take a step back.

"Don't, Em. Just...don't." Julian pleaded.

Emma didn't move. All she wanted was to take one or maybe two more steps. Until there was no more distance between them. She wanted to feel his hart beat as she would place her lips against his. She wanted to know his hart was beating for her.

She wanted him to lover her. The way she loved him. That, she knew, would never happen. He didn't think of her like that, and he never would. And even if he did, It was against the law.

"What is it that I don't get?" Emma said, looking up at Julian, who seemed to be avoiding looking at her.

"I can't tell you," was all he said.

"You sound like a five year old when you say it like that, and what in the world could be so bad that you can't tell your best friend? Your parabati?"

Julian's head snapped up. "That right there is why. I regret it every single day." Julian said harshly. Emma had never seen Julian so mad before. He was always the calm one out of them.

She held her gaze steady at Julian. "You regret what?"

He was silent for awhile before speaking."Making you my parabati", he answered, looking down to avoid her gaze. Emma was glad he did. She didn't want to look at him either. Not after he said that.

Emma was about to turn on her heels and walk away when she felt Julian grip her arm and pull her back. She didn't look up, trying effortlessly to remain some selfpride. Not that she had any left.

"Em", he whispered. He was begging her to look up.

Emma didn't want to look up, but she couldn't help it. She felt her head lift itself so she could look at him. And she froze.

Julian was looking at her. Really looking at her. Looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, like she was special. His stare was so intense it almost hurt to meet it.

Emma wanted to say something. She wanted to say something so bad, but she was stunned. Unable to say a word.

"I want to kiss you", Julian said, not moving his eyes from hers. "I have wanted to kiss you for so long. And I can't and it's killing me, Em."

Emma was shocked. She had not expected that. He wanted to kiss her, like she wanted to kiss him.

Emma still didn't know what to say so she just stood there frozen, and staring at him. Suddenly Julian loosened his grip on her arm, and let her go.

He slid past her and started walking towards the door. "I knew you didn't feel the same way", he said quietly. So quiet almost no one would hear it, but she did.

"You don't think I want to kiss you?" She said as he was halfway through the door. This made him stop.

He didn't turn around as he spoke.

"It's okay, Em. It was stupid, I knew it was stupid, but...', he let a loud breath out. 'I wanted you to know."

Emma knew it was stupid. It was wrong. Against the law. But she found herself not giving a damn as she walked up to him and yanked him away from the door.

This seem to have surprised him in some way, since he stumbled over his own feet and fell on his ass. How this he managed go fall backwards?

He let out an 'ouch' and 'shit' or something, but Emma didn't notice. She was too busy trying not to laugh. It was a hard thing to do.

Emma sat down on the floor I front of him. She smiled and he returned it..sort of.

"You know", Julian started. "This is actually an really awkward situation."

She didn't answer that. And she didn't want to.

She knew emotions were better expressed with actions than words. So she acted.

She didn't even think as she pushed her body forward and leaned in so her lips met Julian's. She closed her eyes, but not before noticing that Julian's were wide open in shock. His lips were soft and warm, but he didn't kiss her back.

Emma pushed herself away from him. Her bestfriend had just rejected her. He had said he wanted to kiss her and not kissed her back when she did. Maybe she wasn't good at it or something?

She looked over at Julian who seemed to be in shock. He looked at her like the most unexpected of unexpected things that could ever happen, had just happened.

"Em", he said, or it was mor like a whisper when she thought about it. Before she could reply he had grabbed her by the waist and pushed her against him. Placing her in his lap.

Julian looked at her differently now. His blue-green eyes had darkened a bit, and Emma realized it was desire. And she was the cause of it.

"Do that again", he whispered. And she did.

She pressed her lips softly against his and this time he responded. He moved his lips softly against hers at first, testing, but it soon became more hungry, more passionate. She felt like the whole world had disappeared and nothing else mattered except her and Jules. It felt so right, like it was meant to happen all along.

Julian's hands were on her hips, pressing her against him. She curled her fingers into his hair and he moaned slightly against her lips. She wrapped her legs around him pulling herself even closer to him. It was like she couldn't get close enough.

She ran a hand over his chest, feeling the muscles through his t shirt. She pulled her lips away form his, only letting them linger for a moment. Then she felt her hands on the hem of his t shirt, and she pulled. As soon as it was of she guided his hands to the ending of her own top, wanting less layers between them.

Julian looked at her then, realization forming in his eyes. Then he removed her carefully away from him and stood up.

Emma got to her feet almost immediately after him, feeling like she had just lost a part of her. And wanting it back.

"This is wrong, Em." Julian said, looking at the floor.

"I know, but-" Emma started. "No buts. You're my parabati. It's against the law and you know it."

"The law says you can't fall in love with your parabati. It doesn't say anything about this." Emma didn't want it to end. She didn't want this to stop, but she knew that she wasn't convincing Julian. Damn, she wasn't even convincing herself.

"Well that would have been great if I wasn't in love with you, but you see. I am." Julian's voice was soft as he spoke.

Emma couldn't believe it. He was in love with her too. She should be happy, but she wasn't. Loving her meant pain. Pain because they could never be together. They would never get to love each other like they wanted to. She was cursed for loving him, and now he was too.

So when she looked at him and said the only thing she felt like saying. It hurt. But she meant it with all her hart and she always would.

"I love you." She said before she walked past him without looking back, she didn't want him to see her cry.

**So that's it. What did you guys think? **

**Any good? **

**Any other Blackstairs shippers out there? (If there is another name for them, please tell me)**

**Let me know!:)**

**~Jess**


End file.
